I am the worst boyfriend ever!

[Mortimer Jazz]

I forgot to post my girlfriend's valentines card today :eek:

In a bid to save myself from being buried under her patio in the coming weeks I thought I'd put my Flashing skillz to good use and hurredly
came up with this (http://www.nwebb.co.uk/valentine.html). It's total crapness made me laugh so I thought I'd post it here to be ridiculed by you lot. Bless flash. Right, I'm off to bed.

ps did anyone else do something similar by any chance?

[red penguin]

I like it when you jump there, Mort. Quite the white man dance. And she STILL will hold that over your head so be prepared for a cold month.

Heh. Glad I ain't got me none.

Suckers.

[Mortimer Jazz]

Thanks Red. Yes I'm quite the mover you know! I like to keep in shape with my Britney Spears dance routines.
Infact some call me the white Michael Jackson ....... hmmm yes.

[tost]

a friend sent me an sms yesterday late
"don't forget valentine, romeo."
i replied with
"unless intentionally"
and that's where I was called "sucker"
So, Red, Glad to hear I'm not alone :rock:
But my opinion doesn't have to be yours, Mort ;)
you said it all yourself:
It's total crapness made me laugh
me too, man, me too... aaahh :D

[tost]

some call me the white Michael Jackson

IS THERE A BLACK MICHAEL JACKSON?????

[simontheak]

Purely out of interest, what did she think of it?

Have you manged to get away with it or is the patio still beckoning??

[Mortimer Jazz]

>> IS THERE A BLACK MICHAEL JACKSON?????
point taken! Then again I also have a penchant for dangling small babies out of hotel windows. Maybe that's how I got the name.

>> what did she think of it?
I haven't heard from her yet *tremble* - that's not a good sign is it?! I think she's got a meeting this morning though.
or.....
Maybe she's on the phone to the crazy-paving company already!.but after seeing that cheezy-smile I managed to pull off I wouldn't totally blame her. :)

[simontheak]

Originally posted by Mortimer Jazz

I haven't heard from her yet *tremble* - that's not a good sign is it?!

You never know ... she might have taken one look at it and realised how pathetic and insignificant her card/present is. She might be running around various shops now trying to find something equally as impressive before she phones.

... or yeah, she could just be on the phone to the paving company :(

[Mortimer Jazz]

Heheh, thanks for momentarily getting my hopes up...... only to beat them back down into a pulpy mess with your reality truncheon

Dammit!

[pom]

How could she not love you after you've done this great animation for her...

And you know what? My girl asked me NOT to buy her anything for Valentines :D Isn't she the sweetest? :rolleyes:

[boyzdynasty]

i hope she meant that, POM. *smile*

---
Mort: that was funny. Made me cry. *haha*

V-DAY isn't over yet...I'm gonna go pick up a gift today....
I hope I don't get caught shopping on the last minute....hmm....

funny story last year.
Both, my girlfriend and I, had bumped into each other on V-DAY shopping for each others gift. *haha*

----
who started this whole V-DAY stuff... I want to throw some tomatoes at that person!! :D

[pom]

I sure hope so too. It sounds a bit strange, doesn't it? *looks around nervous*

[binkyboo]

My girl asked me NOT to buy her anything for Valentines

Please don't leave me empty handed on Valentines Day


My fiancee tried to pull that stunt this year. :) She's such a kidder!

[red penguin]

Looking over the thread, I see that it is dominated by men. (Well, mostly men...we need to consider that dancer too...) Any women wish to contribute seeing as this is Valentines Day?

@binkyboo: Yer damned if ya do, yer damned if ya don't.

[Ricod]

Sorry red, can't keep my mouth shut :D !

I will try my most ladylike voice though *sounds like a strangled cat*
POM, it's a trick question ! Like in Friends :
A: Pick me up at the airport entrance
B: I'll meet you home

Correct answer is NEVER stated ! (C:meet me at the gate ... WITH a bunch of flowers (preferably costing half your paycheck) AND chocolates (which I won't eat, but thanks for caring)).

*gasp, returns to normal voice*

:D Mort, if this doesn't make lady phone Victoria's Secret mail order right now, then nothing will !:D

Maybe we can ask some of our girls to translate for us ?

*puts up puppy eyes*
Is there a Flash goddess out there who can help us ? We're men, and thus ignorant of your wishes. Please help us. We don't understand. If you know them, please use football and hockey terms to make it more clear to us. And when talking about 'taste', please use beer flabours and hot dogs, nacho chips etc. *shy smile*

[tg]

save yourself mort... run out to the local jewelry store right now and get something for her before its too late.


.... and mort nipple clamps are not jewelry (besides, i said to get something for her, not yourself).

[Mortimer Jazz]

Aw no nipple clamps?! Apart from that, good advice tg but I live too far away to deliver something by hand.

I think it's too late now anyway.
I had to tell her last night that I forgot to post the card (okay I should have lied and blamed it on the postal service). I even managed to get roses AND chocolates delivered to her work today (admitedly only cause I couldn't get roses at first and then by the time I found somewhere still delivering them I'd already ordered the chocs!). But I still haven't heard from her. Not a peep, which is unusual. No reply to my email, no reply to my text. She must be infalable to my dancing prowess. Oh woe is me.

ps ...and pom, get your girlfriend something anyway before it's too late!! It's the one time when you'll get rewarded for ignoring what she has to say! :)

[red penguin]

Mort:

Maybe she is in the car on her way.

[Mortimer Jazz]

That would be lovely. *cancels 9:30 appointment at Madame Whiplash's brothel just incase*

[red penguin]

Then again, she COULD be on a plane and headed my way.

*dashes off to hide in a database*

[pom]

POM, it's a trick question ! Like in Friends :
A: Pick me up at the airport entrance
B: I'll meet you homeYou lost me here. I don't speak womanish so well, you know. But if you guys are trying to scare me, you're doing a very good job :eek:

On the other hand, I don't see why I'd have to buy her anything special today. I mean, I don't love her more today than yesterday or tomorrow, just because it's Valentine's. And who's that Valentine anyway?!?

[DiDi]

St. Valentines History (http://www.bbc.co.uk/essex/features/valentines/valentines_history.shtml)

more historic details (http://www.sanvalentinoeventi.com/santo.asp) (only in Italian, sorry :D)

[Mortimer Jazz]

Originally posted by pom
I don't see why I'd have to buy her anything special today. I mean, I don't love her more today than yesterday or tomorrow, just because it's Valentine's.Ah this is very true, but you see now you're being too logical and 'Womanish' appears to be anything but a logical language ......... a bit like Welsh I guess ;)

[Mortimer Jazz]

simontheak, in answer to your earlier question, it did the trick :)

Turns out she'd taken a few days off and isn't actually back in work until Wednesday.
She checked her hotmail today and the animation made her laugh. When I told her there were also flowers and chocolates waiting for her at work she was over the moon. Great stuff. Now I can demand more sex ...well, I am a bloke after all.

[farafiro]

Thx GOD my wife's B-Day only one day b4 the V-Day, so I can't forget and I only get one gift :D ;)

[Ricod]

Well, actually, you probably COULD forget ... but only once ! *after that you won't NEED to remember, except maybe that you once had a wife who's birthday was one day before Valentine's Day and still you couldn't remember* :)

[farafiro]

heheheeeeeeeee Rico boy
I'm not that kinda ppl who forget things easly :p

[Ricod]

Well, you two being still together, having a mini farafiro is prove enough for me ! *on a side note, does the little one call you 'daddy' or 'faffy' ?* :)

[CyanBlue]

Well... I am not sure why the day when St. Valentine beheaded become the day of love... (Of course, I will have to believe my sista since she mentioned one here...) The thing is that this V-day is the offspring of the commercialism indeed... Sad truth it is... I wouldn't mind celebrating this day will all my heart if it came from some religious reason, not that I like this one either, but gosh, they just want to sell more... Why do we have to go on like this??? :(

This is one way to get out of that pithole... Forget the V-day for three times in a row... And your baby won't complain why I have forgotten it again and again... But!!! Do something speciall occasionally... V-day is not the only day you can bring a rose back home... Do it from time to time... Show her some love... Who cares??? Women doesn't really care how crappy her card is... Mort... Don't worry about it... I'll bet she will come back home tonight... :D Do that from time to time... Yet... Say I love you three times a day 366 days a year...

Do I do that all??? Nah... As my wife always says, I am the worst and unromantic guy in the world and I admit that... But I try to do that as much as I can and she loves me... Nothing ie easy guys... Little by little does it... :)

My girl asked me NOT to buy her anything for Valentines
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please don't leave me empty handed on Valentines Day
My fiancee tried to pull that stunt this year. She's such a kidder!Don't know why women do this all the time, but don't be a fool and do not believe that if you want your life easier... Do something, and I hope you did something since V-day is gone... Yay... Gosh... I just don't know why women loves to get surprised... :D

[farafiro]

Originally posted by Ricod
Well, you two being still together, having a mini farafiro is prove enough for me ! *on a side note, does the little one call you 'daddy' or 'faffy' ?* :) lol
farafiro is the best ;)

[Ricod]

Well Jason, welcome to the West ;) !

1: "Hi ! This is Christmas ! We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ !"
2: "Oh, okay ! That's nice. But .. ehrm ... what does that tree has to do with it ?"
1: "Well, you see, when we wanted to convert those pesky Germanen, they had this religious festival where they burned trees, and since it was on the same day ... "
2: "Hmm .. okay, kinda makes sense. What about this big, old geezer who 'got stuck in my chimney' ? And the sock thing ?"
1: "Well ... ehrm ... that's just to sell more ... good for the economy etc."

Santa's just a commercial version of Sinterklaas (st. Nicholas) ! If they do that with Christmas, Valentine's day is only a natural progression. What more excuses can we think of to sell more ? Flasher's day ? :rolleyes: And ofcourse ActionScript.org Foundation Day !

farafiro : I guess some people read only what they want to read :rolleyes: ... :p !

[CyanBlue]

Yup... So true... I just wish we can go back for some time and start over... But then, if we go that far, we won't be able to use computer and Flash, so, I'll just drop it... People move on no matter what, and I gotta move on to bed... 6AM again... :(

[farafiro]

Originally posted by Ricod
farafiro : I guess some people read only what they want to read :rolleyes: ... :p ! correction:
I guess ALL people read only what they want to read

[Ricod]

;) 'night 'night ! But for reference : it's noon here ! I'll go to bed in an hour or 10 (making it a nice even 32 hours) :cool: the light is too bright !

[simontheak]

Originally posted by Mortimer Jazz
simontheak, in answer to your earlier question, it did the trick :)
Now I can demand more sex ...well, I am a bloke after all.

Woo-hoo! Glad it worked. She just couldn' resist those swinging moves could she!?!!?! Damn, I wish I could dance like that!! :D

[vilehelm]

Mort, I've been distracted for the last two weeks.

Now that I'm back, let me just say this ... freak.

[pinkaboo]

Vile, distracted? What can have caused that? I can't imagine.

Hurumph, I travelled half way round the world to see my bloke and did I get a Valentine's Day card?

NO.

*sigh*

Still, we all know Vile couldn't have redeemed himself with a stonking bit of Flash "creativity."

*giggle*

All I got was a fancy meal at a swish restaurant (Bacchanalia, ATL).

*bounce*

wheeeeeee!

pinK

Mort - superb. I was sold. Though I'd maybe rethink the "taking a dump" move when in the company of diners. Maybe take a leaf out of Kylie's book and switch it for a more amenable "locomotion" step sequence, or if you are feeling dangerous "Can't get you out of my head" could be the way to go. You can't fail with a little Kylie, though a trip to the gym to get cheeks to match sure would be the icing on the cake.

[Ricod]

I just want to say that I'm all for the Kylie copying ! Mort, I suggest you were Kylies dress she wore in can't get you out of my head (to keep it similar to your current color palette, I'd say the white one ;). Or one of those red lamp thingies the backdancers wear. And then mimic the clip with all the walking Kylies, ofcourse replaced with walking Mort's :).

[vilehelm]

I'm sorry. What I meant to say was ... freakS!

Originally posted by Ricod
I just want to say that I'm all for the Kylie copying ! Mort, I suggest you were Kylies dress she wore in can't get you out of my head (to keep it similar to your current color palette, I'd say the white one ;). Or one of those red lamp thingies the backdancers wear. And then mimic the clip with all the walking Kylies, ofcourse replaced with walking Mort's :).

[Ricod]

Well ... we can't all be as :cool: as : ACTIONSCRIPT MAN ! ;)