Well, it needs a lot of work. Here's my input:
1 The stage size is quite strange for a web-based game.
2 I couldn't help but notice the Times New Roman font
3 Your instructions say to press SPACE to jump, but I found that I had to press the up arrow.
4 The first level should be a bit easier.
5 The graphics are 'Atari'
on the positive side, the humor is good. When I saw the title, 'Going Commando' it really piqued my interest. the basic concept is there.
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Any way, good idea, and nice job, but today most computer games are built with a team of developers. No doubt you will soon be at the level you need to be to compete.
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Not so, the 'casual game' industry is booming thanks to mobile phones and devices. Many, if not most, of these games are developed by a single designer. Look at Tetris - still popular and a good programmer could whip that up in an hour or two.
Tango
www.flashbynight.com