Howdy...
Well... You cannot really use ActionScript to do that, I think...
ActionScript cannot check if the file size has been changed or the date of the file has been changed...
You'd need to use server side scirpt such as PHP to check those attributes...
So, basically you will have Flash to call the PHP script, for example, every 5 minutes... and the PHP script will be checking if there has been changes on the XML file and return true or false back to Flash...